* You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away. * You have ever had a heated debate over the color of fire trucks. * You have ever spent 10 minutes trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle. * You lay out your clothes from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly. * You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant. * You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust. * You always wear red suspenders. * You carry a ton of specially modified tools in your pocket. * You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice. * You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane. * You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic. * You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and NOT been talking about a girl. * You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter". * You have ever smoked and there wasn't a cigarette in sight. *You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water. * You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gallon or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire. * Your kids are afraid to get into water fights with you. * "Climbing the corporate ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement. * Your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader. * You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old. * You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years. *You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition. * You carry enough in your car to extinguish a minor blaze. * You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves. * Your own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree. * All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter. * You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year. * When you go to rent a movie and come back with Backdraft Every time. * You have more pagers than money in your wallet. * If the smell of fire excites you more than sex does. * If assembling a mile and a half of hose running up a hill to catch a fire is a good day. * The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was your pager. * If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it does. * When you really think that rusty old hydrant will look good in the garden. * All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary etc. * If your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed to avoid being trampled in route to a call! * If your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and take cover when she hears the pager go off for fear of being run down. *If you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side. * If you have more toy fire trucks than your kids do.